My Gasoline Heart

by Fred Oakman

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  • Record/Vinyl + Digital Album

    140 gram 12" Vinyl with Full Color Labels and Jackets. Includes limited edition Pin Pack and a Fred Oakman and The Flood die cut Vinyl Sticker. Purchase of this item includes a digital download code of the album on release date as well as early access to 1 track.

    Includes unlimited streaming of My Gasoline Heart via the free Bandcamp app, plus high-quality download in MP3, FLAC and more.
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  • Compact Disc (CD) + Digital Album

    My Gasoline Heart by Fred Oakman | Compact Disc (Digipack) | Release Date 10/25/2019

    Purchase of this item includes 1 die cut vinyl Fred Oakman and The Flood sticker.

    Includes unlimited streaming of My Gasoline Heart via the free Bandcamp app, plus high-quality download in MP3, FLAC and more.
    ships out within 2 days

      $10 USD or more 

     

  • Streaming + Download

    Includes unlimited streaming via the free Bandcamp app, plus high-quality download in MP3, FLAC and more.
    Purchasable with gift card

      $10 USD

     

1.
That Ain't the Way - Lyrics Just because you lost one doesn’t mean that you’re defeated. You best pack all of your bags before they try you here for treason. And I know you don’t see things my way, how else could it play. When the going gets this tough even god ain’t expected to stay. You’ve got nothing but that old and open road dead ahead of you. I hope you tolerate your choices because its been long since overdue. And I know you don’t see things my way, how else could it play When the going gets this tough we just get tougher and try to stay. That ain’t the way that makes a man and as it turns out I turn right on in. You saw me sleeping and sweating in my bed. While hoping and dreaming and thinking with a confused head. I never meant to hurt you but I did what I had to. I never meant to sound self righteous from singing my own blues. And I know you don’t see things my way, what else can I say. I thought I had it all and then we lost it along the way, It never meant to me the way that it does to you, a folded ten in my back pocket or a brand new pair of shoes. And I know you don’t see things my way but Bell what else can I say. You stress this little one and you’ll be stressing for all your days. That ain’t the way that makes a man and as it turns out hell I cave right on in. You saw me sleeping and sweating in my bed. While hoping and dreaming and thinking with a mixed up head. I was hoping and dreaming and thinking with a confused head. I was hoping and dreaming and thinking with my big fat head.
2.
You Make Me Sick - Lyrics Cat gut strings. They cut across the fret. Remember when we met and sauntered in the south. Words don’t mesh. You get a little bent. But broken never meant that you weren’t well. It’s a five hour drive. You’re feeling quite alive. The sun was ringing louder than a bell. Most folks say what doesn’t leave must stay. Hell why don’t we go and teach them something else. Well we were young and wrecked and tragically desperate. Well I hope you find the things you’ve been missing. Well the truth is slightly strung around your intent. If you intend to leave things better than you found them, save some for me. No it’s not okay to keep coming around this place. Despite how hard you try well it just isn’t you. I got tired of the way we’ve been sleeping through our days. A forty hour work week hangs a closed sign on the things you like to do. Well I couldn’t believe my eyes they never were to lie. It hits you how sarcasm amplifies the truth. And spits you right back out, right onto the ground. The only time it’s sound is when I’m here with you. Now God because we’re aged and broke and breathing the real smoke. Of a life unwound and designed to come down. And it stings the most when you knew you had an option. But what you chose turned out to be nothing that you wanted, I’ll take my time. Why is it so damn impossible to find it at all believable you make me sick. With all of that stupid shit you pull. You swear it’s under your control. It never is. Why is it so damn impossible to find it at all believable you make me sick. With all of that stupid shit you pull. You swear it’s under your control. You’ll never quit.
3.
Something New - Lyrics A hope that’s lost me all I’ve ever built. So please turn the quiet up and up, and up and up until… We’ve made examples of ourselves in broad daylight. You turn to tell me you’re so happy that I’m here tonight. Oh the wind it howls and catches up with us. As we learn to turn these secrets into dust. The gravel of your driveway scrapes my knee. As you initiate. And you’re blowing kisses. Like the June breeze takes the leaves. And blows, blows, blows, blows away. I fell in love again today. I lost a friend. I met someone I could not forget. I think it’s time I laugh until I cry. Or cry until I laugh, I heard someone close to me may just die. Right now I’d like to dye my hair, or forget that life is so unfair. And learn a thing or two about the way I’ve lost myself. And just fly, fly, fly, fly away. I fell in love with all that stupid shit you’d say. Like “Chance the Dance.” And if not for yourself how about them? I think it’s time I laugh til I can’t breathe. The kind of laugh that makes me wonder why in the hell is love not free. And I know I have regrets and I apologize for all of them. But tonight I take it back because it makes me who I am. And I’m already on page ten and we’ll talk about how we want to quit our jobs and start again. So I wrote this song for you. I’m trying to convince myself while trying to forgive myself. I’m trying to convince myself we’re ready, we’re all ready for something new.
4.
It Haunts You - Lyrics Nothing like a world that you can’t understand. Well it’s like a wave of guilt called up to shake those steady hands. It haunts you. Short on breath and calling out your name. Well I’m sitting at an empty table all alone again. It haunts you. I’ve been going but I ain’t gone. I’ve done some things I know were wrong. And I’ve been leaving but I ain’t left. So what’s best? Deconstruct a window with hopes it turns a door. And I’m thinking things I never thought I’d ever thought before. It haunts you. Nothing like the sound of wind whipping through the weeds. Up on cemetery hill. Blowing back for me. It haunts you. I’ve been going but I ain’t gone. I’ve done some things I know were wrong. And I’ve been leaving but I ain’t left. So what’s best? It haunts you.
5.
My Gasoline Heart - Lyrics Well I moved out of my parents house at age fifteen. And I made out with my first true love. It was you, off route nineteen. And the Devil found some mean ways to make a liar out of me. Yeah he earned a reputation like I’d fight my conscience clean. But it paid well, out on the night shift. Hell I cut my baby teeth. And I worked hard, it was the first good job that I, I’d ever seen. Like the first time that I saw you or the last time you needed me. I only wish I could have been half the man you saw in me. It’ll never get easier than how it is with you right now. But it won’t last. I can’t kid myself ever again. Seems that most days, they all come and go not unlike the wind. And I can’t talk because I filled my heart with gasoline. To stoke a fire that’s been blowing low and down and lost on me. No it’ll never get easier than how it is with you right now. And I’ll never be happier than when I’m with you. Like right now. And I’ll try my very best to make the most of this. And I’ll try my very best to remember all of this.
6.
Drag Me Home 03:44
Drag Me Home - Lyrics The cold air cuts the tension like the dead leaves shed their leaves. And I can sense the apprehension blowing off your breath to your tiny knees. The dead hills they shake my bones. The dead hills they shake my bones like a broken tambourine. Today I’m thinking that I’ve got quite a lot to thank you for. But it’s just one sinking feeling that sends my heart straight overboard. The blue waves they crush me down. The dark tides they drown me out before you save me on that shore. Rain drips from my thinning hair, down my nose then through my teeth. And I wish that you were standing here watching the red pulse through our streets. They always drag me home. They always drag me home before I ever want to leave. So temperamental, tried and true just like a dream. I woke up from in a cold sweat and you died on account of me. When we get the wish of a better view tell me who in the hell will see. Because these eyes they burn like hell. Yeah these eyes they burn like hell.
7.
My Rock Song 03:18
My Rock Song - Lyrics Hey pretty lady do you have someone that you call baby. The dogs they drove me crazy all last night. So tell me what’s the big idea. It doesn’t take one to know one. You can find me by that west sun most my life. It seems that every Sunday morning I’m thankful and sorting The reasons I’ve been breathing here just fine. See I’ve got a way of falling in love with everything I want. But it never really feels like the first time. So what you say we meet at the boat launch. Tell each other what we both want. I’m much less risk than reward this time of night. And if we’re really gonna do this let’s get ourselves to-do lists. If anything, damn near nothing shakes out right. I guess that’s why I found me a big rock that I can lean on. And put that sort of small one on your life. They say you either get busy dying, or keep busy trying. Those options aren’t worth their headaches half the time. See I’ve got a way of falling in love with everything I want. But it never really feels like the first time. Until you. Until You.
8.
We Can Make a Sad Song Last All Year - Lyrics I’ll try my luck again. Maybe I’ll hit straight lines. It’s that famous fight within clawing like hell. Hold on like the common cold. Let ‘em know that you’ve got the grit. If it rips at your heart and it shakes up your soul it was worth what you spent. We can make a sad song last all years. Stumbling backwards, downhill swinging. Gnashing these old gears. I can ride a good buzz out all night. Darling I ain’t too sure. Darling I ain’t too sure. We can win this ugly fight. And the first time that we unearthed ourselves that summer night it felt so strange. And that evening walk back to your house never felt the same. And we ran like the road wouldn’t end. Gave `em hell until that well was all but dry. We learned harder than most ever intend. From choking on the smoke that’s left. From all our burning, borrowed time. We can make a sad song last all years. Stumbling backwards, downhill swinging. Gnashing these old gears. I can ride a good buzz out all night. Darling I ain’t too sure. Darling I ain’t too sure. Darling I ain’t too sure we can win this ugly fight.
9.
Headstrong In On Empty - Lyrics I sat quiet because my thoughts never made no words. How I wish some things could be different. But I never gave much thought to anything I heard. God, I gotta see it to believe it. You made me a monster by the end of the book you read. Funny how you swore you really knew me. I’m not lying when I say I’d rather be misread Than thrown out to the dogs where you found me. We all sleep in houses that we built ourselves. If only I could stop and take a deep breath. Cuz maybe good things happen somewhere else. But I can only speak through experience. If I kept quiet what good could it do me now? I need to find and tear away my conscience. I drank so Goddamn much it turned my whole most sour. I only ever wanted you to listen. I’m not here to try to make a believer out of you. Even if it’s all you ever wanted. I’m so worn down I could never see this damn thing through. All these lonely dreams they kept me haunted. I fall asleep on the couch by eight p.m. A sight to sore those pretty eyes. If things don’t change I’m a have to make a change again. God I get so sick and tired of changing. You can drag that bottom of Lake Erie all you like. But I swear you’ll never find me. In just one moment I can either hod or break that line. Always running headstrong in on empty. You made me a martyr by the end of the life I led. It’s funny how you swore you really loved me. And I’m not lying when I say I’d rather be misled. Than thrown out to the dogs where you found me. I’m always running headstrong in on empty.
10.
Derecho 04:50
Derecho - Lyrics Well it seems as I’ve been turned to in such a terrible twist of fate. To live my life a hatchet man in so many awful ways. This campground its been lived in and these people need to eat. So trust me it’s not personal I’m just trying to make ends meet. So with one boot in the stirrup, and one spur on the horse. You’d think by now she’d need no help in keeping on the course. But its never been a life that I’ve been proud of. Some have found a way to do it dry. In five days I’ll be measuring gunpowder. And my blistered hands won’t even have to try. All the cities that I run through, all the people that I meet. Tend to greet me with a concern they don’t know that I can see. Despite all you have heard, rough living sets you free. Trust my gut more than my vision, acquired survival instinct. And the stars I’m sleeping under aren’t as endless as they say. The dirt cradles my filthy hair in all but a sweet way. But its never been a life that I’ve been proud of. Some have found a way to drink it dry. In a few nights I’ll be checking that gunpowder. And these lonely eyes won’t know enough to cry. Guess redemption don’t come easy when you’re left staining all alone. And all those heartless acts I’ve done have left my heart so Goddamn cold. The truth was what I sought, I saw some really ugly things. Any war I’d ever wagered never solved a Goddamn thing. With one foot six foot under and the other in a hearse. You’d think by now I’d learned enough to seal away this curse. But its never been a life that I’ve been proud of. I never found a way to do it dry. Last night I saw some flashes saw gunpowder. And I didn’t get to choose the way I’d die. Because I shut out anyone that meant a damn thing. Snuffed out any flame that held a chance. Made my peace the moment that I said I loved you. And did my best to keep us safe from them. No it’s never been a life that I’ve been proud of. Knowing now I won’t survive the night. You were lonesome full of heartache those last hours. Not knowing how truly hard I tried. I was caught up in my own sense of the right way.

about

This is the first Studio Full-Length Album from Fred Oakman. Recorded in the Spring / Summer of 2019. This album features 10 original songs.

credits

released October 25, 2019

All songs and lyrics written by Fred Oakman
Published by Signal Home Music 2019.

This album was recorded by Troy Messerall & Fred Oakman at The Pit, Meadville, PA.
Mixed and Mastered by Troy Messerall at Paperbox
Produced by Fred Oakman & Troy Messerall
Engineering by Troy Messerall

Layout, Design, and Visual Artwork by Michael Fritz | Behance.net/michaelfritz

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Fred Oakman Meadville

Singer/Songwriter from Pennsylvania.

"...you either get busy dying or keep busy trying."

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